So much for the holiday lessons... I seem to have a bit of a follow-through issue with the site at the moment...

Maybe because I've been traveling and indulging in life's delicious moments of vacation. Be jealous.

Happy new year. I'm blown away by how time is passing; exponentially going by faster and faster as I age.

I'm currently finishing up a phenomenal holiday in London with my darling Susie (Prague set for the weekend) and will be returning home next week in my new capacity as ArtsFest Manager for the OMJCC.

Off to sip a cuppa tea and eat biscuits.

xx

Mistletoe is awkward.

Unless, obvi, you get to kiss this... LOLerskates.

The holidays are a time of decorative garland, wreaths, trees, menorahs, and mistletoe. However, mistletoe creates three scenarios (of two people... I don't even want to get into 3+ mistletoe situations), two of which are beyond-turtle awkward.

Scenario 1 (which, really, never happens, or just has never happened to me in the 22 years I've been on Earth- obviously making this scenario highly unlikely, or I dare say, impossible):
Both parties are into the situation, and are down to kiss. This creates a fluffy, romantic, *joy* and *cheer* filled moment those two will share forever. Or until they break up.

Ok, so I may have said this is impossible... I mean that in a sober sense. I'm sure that a few egg-nogs could really ramp up the desire scale, but whatev. That doesn't flow with this obviously scientific analysis. Carrying on...

Scenario 2:
One of the two parties wants to kiss, the other does not. Let's label the former Hopey McDreamerson and the latter Shatter VonRealist.

Hopey thinks this is it, the moment of a lifetime, just like that holiday romantic comedy... Hopey's palms will get sweaty, the heart races... the spirit lifts... and...

There are two possibilities for Shatter here, either being knowledgeable or ignorant about Hopey's feelings. In the first case, Shatter has no feelings for Hopey other than friendship, and doesn't want to make things awkward. In the second case, Shatter has no feelings for Hopey other than friendship, and doesn't want to make things awkward (Shatter lives an easy life). Shatter talks about something random with Hopey... looks around the room for an escape... finds an empty silence in conversation and...

Well, duh. They don't kiss. Given. Again, the scenario may change with some holiday brew, but that's another story. Hopey cries to a friend, heartbroken, hopeless and loveless. Shatter gets over it pretty quickly... unilateral, yes, but love's a rough game.

Scenario 3:
Neither party would like to partake in the imposed holiday tradition beneath a hemi-parasitic plant. This is the awkward of the awkwards, the awkward king, the awkward monster that eats the room's awkward elephant. Good friends may jovially laugh at the situation in which they find themselves, make a joke about kissing, and run free after a brief peck on or near the cheek.

Worse still is mistletoe above acquaintances. What to do? One's humor is not yet openly shared, boundaries are not set... I get heebie-geebies just thinking about it. The hero in this third scenario is festive alcohol. Only by forgetting this third scenario may one get over it and move on with their life.

The cards are all out, the arguments made... but I still love the idea of mistletoe and will probably buy some within the next few weeks. A girl's gotta dream... *super double extreme LOLerskates*

Waking up at the ass-crack of dawn is never worth the $1.37 of savings.

Thanksgiving turkey, deboned and delicious!!

I've tried participating in the Black-Friday thing; a few years ago I went to the Petaluma Outlets at midnight, after an enormous meal (first bad choice), to join in with hundreds of sweatpant-wearing hicks (second bad choice), to fight over racks of clothes and shelves of housewares (third bad choice), and made poor shopping choices due to the overdose of tryptophan and sugar (fourth bad choice).

Really, the list of bad choices goes on and on (much like my love live...), and I ended up with fake Ugg boots from Claire's (please don't judge me... they were so warm at 1 a.m.), a sleeveless zip-up hoodie (again... poor choices! not my fault!), and (the winning item of the night which I never used) a microwaveable egg-boiler.

I understand that Black Friday is the biggest shopping day of the year, and sure there are sales with great offers made to make the holiday shopping seem a little less daunting, but in my perspective it is never worth losing the little piece of my soul to the nasty hoards of people. I know people who do the 5 a.m. thing, and truth be told I never want to be like them, so why emulate their awful life choices?

In an ever-lasting attempt to keep writing, sharing, and bringing *JOY* (it's the holidays, everything is summed up in key words, which will be asterisked at all opportunities) into the hearts of my readers, I hereby bring you Awesome Celina's Holiday Lessons.

My First Snowfall, Winter 2005

And it's about time! It gives me great pleasure to share with you George Lopez, the first Latino late-night stand up host, whose show "Lopez Tonight" will be debuting this Sunday on TBS at 11 p.m. (10 p.m., for you Central folk).

I'm always an enthusiastic supporter for great strides in Latino communication development, and this is certainly an enormous step in the right direction for what is soon to be America's largest demographic.

For more information,  check out lopeztonight.com or click here to check out a clip.

This Sunday's show will include guests Ellen DeGeneres, Eva Longoria-Parker, and Kobe Bryant, and future guests include Sandra Bullock, Ray Romano, Jamie Foxx, Jessica Alba, Charlie Sheen, Queen Latifah, Marc Anthony, Larry David, Taylor Lautner (a collective "Yum!" from you TwiHards out there), Oscar de la Hoya, Kelly Osborne, and Eva Mendes.

Please join me in supporting a fellow Latino in a groundbreaking late-night adventure! Sunday. November 9th. TBS. 11/10C. Do it.